Before getting married I use to say there were 3 things I wouldn’t do.
- Go into a woman’s purse
This is a rule I firmly believe in and strongly adhere to. There are things in a woman purse that no man should ever see, touch, or even be near. Like Felix the Cat’s magic bag, a purse is a wonderful thing filled with mysterious objects that no mere mortal man could ever comprehend, nor actually locate. And if you ever needed proof you only need watch a Harry Potter movie to understand where I’m coming from.
- Attend a bridal shower
Bridal showers terrify me. There are games, cute outfits, and tiny food that never satisfies. Additionally, let’s be honest, there is usually talk about men, and being a guy, I don’t even know that much about myself let alone enough to give any worthwhile advice.
- No to baby showers
This is like a bridal shower on steroids. Dare I say more?
It’s a short but worthy list. One that has served me well over the years. However, after two years of marriage I would add a forth item.
- Go into a woman closet
It’s like a giant purse, but more dangerous.
Needless to say, I came to realize the horrors of a woman’s closet too late to save myself. However, I hope I this post will save at least one young man from facing what I have had to endured.
For the most part I manage to stay out of my wife’s closet. But every now and again you can’t help but enter that forsake place. Whether it’s to search for a lost shoe or find that special sweater that she’s been trying to find for two weeks, it happens. And when it does I’m shaken for weeks on end. I swear that 8×6’ windowless room could break any man. Fifteen minutes in my wife’s closet and we’d know every dirty secret in world. In fact, I was so convinced of this I tried renting out sessions for the CIA use for interrogations but I was reminded that “Cruel and unusual punishment” was illegal.
So, something had to be done. I couldn’t go on like this anymore. One more trip into that velociraptors lair and I’d crack. It had to be organized.
Naturally I asked permission first. I’m not that crazy.
To start, I removed everything and took in the situation. It was pretty grim. There were cameras, a laptop from 1990, and shoes, shoes everywhere. After about 15hrs of excavation I was finally able to find the floor and one of four walls. I kid, it was really more like 20hrs.
To be honest, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. After I removed everything it was pretty obvious that my wife was in need of a larger shoe rack and some better spacing for her hanging clothes. Luckily I had some spare wood in the garage and after some measuring, some quick thinking, I was able to fashion a new show rack for her foot ware. Additionally, I removed one of the racks from the closet. While normally having more hanging surface would be great, in this case, less was more.
Here are a few before and after shots!